wednesday 8th update

sometimes if i close my eyes; the muted roar of the freeway mingled with the sounds of a far off city feel like a hostel experience.

lying on the couch cushions,all bundled up in a fat blanket, the smells all known, but exotically not-mine. d

i dreamt i was in foreign 'climes'; a pilgrim on personage if you will. The singular comfort we aspire to is only as deep and rich as the loves we bring to it. How can i keep from singing? Loving the difficult people in my life in a different way, learning new love styles, wow.  pretty darn fortunate.

Most definitely, how can i not be open and loving through the pain. pain flows like pilgrimage. Joy is the current underneath. i really do believe that.  Living it actually. Not as well as i would like, but with a whole lotta touch going out and coming in i am transformed by the journey and i radiate outwards.

The best part is the new understanding about DH.  He called me in tears. Rosie went looking for Youngest Son  last night. Went into his room and wouldn't come out until DH went in there with her.  I am guessing that the empty bedroom of his youngest son and the reasons why hit on him like a ton of bricks. Especially Rosie with that look on her face.  Pointy ears, expectant fox face, loooking up at DH, "Well?" Her master can do anything! Turned into DH's gut moment of the month. "Tell YS i love him and i miss him". So i handed off the phone to YS and said in didn't do translation! Cannot interfere with the grief process (and maybe growth) in  his/dada's life.

Believing for the miracle of living fully to the fullness of HIm in any season of life.
translation? "My hip doesn't hurt quite so bad, and i got 5hours of good sleep. think it is gonna be a great day"!!!
oh,, i carack me up.

So, why do 20-somethings think they need to conquer the world? Or at least travel it?

grrrr...holding my tongue is like standing inline at the stadium waiting to pee.. grr.rrr...rr...

comrades for at least the evening, yes Herr Brewmeister? !!