Last free Wednesday until holidays are over!!

edited on 11/21/08

NO MORE FUCKING REGRETS. EVER.

NO MORE STANDING AT THE SINK WEEPING SUDDENLY. SO HARD I DROP TO MY KNEES.

NO MORE COMING UP THE ROAD OVER THIS HILL AND SEEING THE MOUNTAINS AND BEGINNING TO SHAKE AND WEEP.

NO MORE TRUSTING THE GOOD INTENTIONS OF THE DEVIL.

GOT THAT? NO MORE REGRETS // EVER //

it means living my life with gulps and second winds and more heat, sir, please?

it means no living down to the regrets and the remorses that twist like a knife.

my dear lord, if i have to live a version of my previous life, complete with lack of respect and plenty of disregard, then stop me NOW, because i am done with regretting my ways.

Ok, who let me write under the influence of guilt and despair?

POint remains. It is a good one. Why repeat the relationship woes that lead to regrets.

playlist: Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Sheesh. where is jose menendez when i need his wisdom? 5:30 pm wed.
This last two entries this week actually sound like TMI in a way. like watching vampires drink each others blood. painful, gory, visceral.

Today so far
Got the laundry done, took garbage to the dump, filed bills&, finished divorce paperwork, made an app't with the facilitator, got the mandatory parenting classes registered for, ordered netzero for E., figured out 2009's FSA for dental, went to the dentist, went to the implant specialist, was on the phone like 4 effing times with DickHead.

But the ballbuster and the beauty on this Wednesday?
Going to the house and hanging out with E for awhile this morning, ostensibly to get the mail. Why is it that adults can get excused for short term disability, but kids get punished? E. really has sort of PTSD going on right now. waiting on the doctor. school is NOT waiting. Kid is incapable of going to school right now. doesn't make him either stupid or devious. he is having a fucking breakdown so leave his ass alone already!! He feels fragile like a bird.

His building is immaculate. Amazing talent. i must remember to tell him that talent finds its own venues that are not always traditional. DH and I are too conservative to deal with this one, lol.

so i cried and hugged and so did he. a good day. this wednesday turned out to be a good day even though it ripped me up for the rest of the day. Gets me through the bad months. and M isn't answering his phone..