First Blank Look of May's Wednesday's

yes, made another couple of decisions about people taking advantage of me or getting myself in situations where that is possible.

still getting yanked by nok. no big change.
one very personal observation. when you meet the love of your life in fantasy land. it is apt to stay there. and if your try to drag them out to reality based relationship, they will probably resist. because their fantasy of themselves is more important than a real live woman.

Still not healed. no big change.

Made some decisions about how i handle being at other peoples mercies.

especially about debt and money.

made a decision about letting go of the overnight bag. and the lovely interlude that represented in my life.

a couaple of hard looks at panic attacks, bitterness, selfishness which i need.

so yeah. an Aries moon coming up.

email excerpt:
"He just listened. I was treading on his sacred pain zone, I think. Nothing is ever as bad as what he puts up with! Oops, not good to even think that, let alone say that. But you understand."

oh golly that made my day... yeah, i lived with a sickie. that is the honest to god truth. my pain was not even a blimp on his radar, lol

so now, i have everyone convinced i am going to drop off from DJD any day ! it makes me feel better. and now i have a better idea how many many people have really extra pain and manage to accomplish a lot.
but the proberbs i was given at the healing room
were about the cheerfulness/countenance is affected by the crushed spirit which which is adverse to our bones. in tother words, what you said, stress related bone issues.. i am trying so hard to get liam to understand that we have to make this place a sanctuary.

guess it also sudddenly hit me that i have lost my joy. ON my website i have the chronicle of the original blog where i discovered "I" mattered.. and people responded to that. and i was opened like a flower.
i lost my praise, but not the music.. At least that has been my constant. "{Like my compnion said,"{ YOu reach for the volume but you can't see it because the tears on your eyes }"
so very scary, and all i needed was to stop feeling guility. sounds so easy but i needed hands laid on me last night to do so.. i am glad you are not taking on the volunteer work. i am still offering to color your hair.. lol.

lovers ya, lizanne