JUNE THE MIDDLE OF ME!

summer solstice and lithua! ron

birthday # 24! lucas

graduation! lucas

school is out@! eli and liam

CARBON LEAF CONCERT ON FRIDAY!@!!!! ME AND LUCAS!

car wreck! me of course

DUI!!!!! dan of course

WHAT A WEEK! A YEAR OF GRIEF ALL WRAPPED UP INTO ONE WEEK

AND now tomania is threatening lucas with child support. she stays here. they trade off addie. and she looks and feels neglected.

ok, now on to the important things.

my mantra with m... if there is a problem i go to him and say "I have business with you".

that is something he responded to really well yesterday. the hug he gave me was long and intenese. he knew i needed help. we talked out the
AFF thing.

he told me "You out think me on this one. you arel ike three steps ahead of me" and he was amazed. that a woman could out think him. ok, kudos to me.

i asked him to forgive me. and he took all of one day to get over his pissy fit. wow.

mantra number two. he can't handle tears and he wouldn't come comfort me. "NO." he said. "Not tonight. not now. give me a ocuple of hours"

when i went there yesterday, he was good to me.

m. has clean hands. he is shitty at relationships but he has clean hands. a man's hands. he looked up the definition of monogamous. it does mean committed first to marriage. then committed to a mate.

i am finally after all this time, his admitted companion. "I tried to drive you away 50 times and you keep coming back!"

well, i see the good in him. so there that is.

ok., they are going to fix my Jeep.to the tune of $4000

and dan's DUI is going to cost him. i dropped him from the insurance. got my own.

i will, by the end of the month have filled out the quit claim deed form for the house. so  safeco can get me off there too.

no, i am not using m... for stress relief. my world is so much brighter with him in it.

like he said, "YOu can make it without me and me make it without you, but it will be better to make it with each other" or something like that. so that is my promise.

i can finally see. my jaded man knows that hanging out with jaded people does not help.

thank you jesus and bless him and bless my list. thank you for J. for hte rental car.