JUNE 10, the month is flying. and draggin.

tonight you are first onmy list≥
that would be email list.
having one stiff gin and strawberry lemonade.
your word construction gives me pause. i find i re read and you are very layered. i like that.
thing do NOT always come around full ciricle. sometimes it is more like whip lash...
talking to people and journaling. the act of writing is healing for me.

one of the things you should know about tantra and me. i am not sensually broken. more like peaking.
i am emotionally and physically deprived of touch. probably a lot less than most people. but it sometimes tends to blur my decisions. skew. alslant. obfuscate. love that word!

so essentially broken there. i like women's touch too. i want the manual arousal from a woman and ditto to give..
but mostly. i now know. for the first time in my life what i like. what i don't. not so easy to settle for now.
that is why there are so huge amounts of 40's eomthings online playing hard. for raw emotion.
we gave it away in our teens or our twenties. we obsessed over it before we were teens.
we gave our lives in our thirties to the cause of domestic bliss, sometimes into our 40's

now we aint giving nuthin' up for much!
and on the other hand we would give our WORLD for a crumb of genuine affection..the little moments that so many people online write of eloquently. almost sociological logical commentary.

even being misunderstood is better than being ignored.

but a lover who likes his lady top hat but doesn't help pay for the upkeep? i spend a lot of time and energy keeping the old gal in shape. so what do i get in return? men who wear sweatpants or the 15 year old boots. oik.. nevver mindddd....about the boots, lol

love a man in boots. love it when you have appeal and are not overly confident. the masterful manly man gets old in about 6 encounters. i like growlers and biters.


a bathroom division tug of war. sometimes funny sometimes not s. a breathing chest next to me at 2 am. a quick smooch on the way in and out.o


On Jun 9, 2009, at 4:53 AM, mail.com wrote:

No, things just are not that easy are they?
With a good partner maybe they will at least seem easier, happier maybe. My hope
It's not a bad thing to want more, or at least different, what you consider better for you
Don't settle, this is for you first, if it's good for anyone else that's a bonus,
Things come around full circle

Find that fucking cell phone and turn it off!!!