Updates

This is Wednesday the 2nd of July. Update.

This image used to represent  something to me that is now past. Cinderella/Pandora/Three Muses. a poor pleasure slave, a woman unaware of her shattered dreams, yet daring to open a box strictly forbidden by her master. Who dresses her in what may be easily removed at his behest.

She is on her knees, either in desperation or habit. It is a powerful image. And what my she find inside? What is that? A swarm of buzzing troubles that fly to wound and exacerbate? A light to show the way? A bit of fairy light imprisoned as treasure yet meant to be freed? A slave freeing a prisoner.

yes, that is the title now.

Not idle curiosity but dire need. That is what happened this time to me. The reward? love marks on my body and indelible impressions on my mind and a suit of armor removed from my soul. Oh, yes, the armor of God IS my skin, but the guard and care of years dropped away by the touch of a man who dared to touch me. Both slaves and prisoners freeing each other, i think, i dare..

I am so at center right now. Even the unsure parts are not enough to displace that  certain knowledge. And because it comes at the hands of another, the usual response is to minimize that. Joke about it. Make it manageable. Not this time. Open wide and see what flies free.

ahh, Mikha'el, look to your name for the answers you seek. Even as you give so freely to this brezhyu.

On a mundane note, i spent good money on decision-making items. Now as the initiator of breaking free i am responsible, but this time i hold a family in my hands in a far different way as the former kitchen goddess.. i miss my kitchen. i miss fresh herbs and oiling cast iron. i miss the certainty of knowing what will please. i miss the boys coming into the kitchen and robbing me of ingredients as i prepare a meal. i miss my boys a whole fucking lot. and yet it is the only answer that love demands. Who has the greatest need. well, there you go.. . cannot go around it or get over it. through is the way. damn it Lord! is there no other way? He gets a blessing he doesn't even know? grrr...

Bless and do not curse. well, ok.