a sensual journey~i don't much miss Kansas
Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 08:49PM BD/sM writers note
You know that you’ve been a naughty girl, now it’s time to pay for your careless actions. I wrap a black silk blindfold over your eyes and tie it tightly. You ask me what I’m going to do to you, but I don’t respond…I just take you by the hand and lead you into another room. I tell you that there is a desk in front of you and instruct you to lean over onto your elbows…and keep your knees locked.. Again you ask me what I am going to do. In a loud stern voice I tell you to bend over, NOW! You obey my command without question this time for fear of further consequences. You feel me standing directly behind you, my hands on the sides of your legs…slowly moving them up. As they slide up they catch your skirt, lifting it up over your ass. Next you feel my hands reaching into the waistband of your panties…then slowly sliding them down to your ankles. You give out a little gasp, but choose not to protest.
thank you for the opportunity to do an inventory of sorts.
i was told by my last, first and always lover, "You have nothing to compare me to"
in reference to style. he was correct in that it was an awakening, but the themes were always there.
i was extremely blessed to walk from such marital darkness into a humane and tender encounter.
that is a rarity for most women, i think. the ones in my situation anyway.
ok, i am starting to use too many commas. late lazy day, but i still have a ton of odds and ends and only one day to get'er done.
lizanne
From: RB
To: EA
Subject: What I like
When it comes to my feeling on sensuality, sexuality and intimacy, the
accountant in me tends to exert some influence. I seem to put things in
piles and give those piles labels. I’m not anal (in all variations of the
word) about these piles. They don’t have to be neat nor the labels
precise – more like generalities.
I have the pile of things I haven’t tried and won’t - sex with another man.
Then the pile of things I’ve tried and don ’t have a strong attraction to – all things anal.
If you skip ahead to the pile of things I’ve tried and really like, you discover the interesting land in between these two piles. The land of picking and choosing, of sorting and deciding, of edges and the boundaries. In the pile of things I’ve tried and really like is the pile of all things oral – giving and receiving, plus the pile of favorite positions, of massage, of kissing and the pile of toys.
I’ve led a rather vanilla life and have only recently begun to explore away from the center of the pile of my favorite things. I have discovered that when anticipation and uncertainty are combined, the excitement produced can heighten the experience. I have a four poster bed. When you add a blindfold and you couple that with the certainty that eventually something from the very center of my pile of favorite things is going to happen, the anticipation makes all things that happen in between more appealing.
To: RB
Subject: Chantilly lace and a pretty face and a ponytail hangin' down.
Good morning. any morning i can look out over the bay and see the sun AND i do not have to work? A GREAT day!
YOur email is well worth a second cup of coffee's musing.
i am not so sure that your pile sorting is unique, unless i am someone who organizes as well, but from a woman's standpoint.
Much of the writing i have done in my forties is exactly that; sorties and forays into the pain and confusion of previous decades; revisiting themes and accoutrements; healing the acts done that were actually harmful to me physically and emotionally. In that category is molestation, incest, unwanted sexual advances, date rape, illegal drug use combined with casual encounters, some BDSM themes.
So right there, the sorting piles differs in that they all have faces. Mine are themes with emotional textures and not solely objects.
The right theme, combined with the right sexual energy. As in, nothing consensual is taboo, even to the role-playing or partner interaction where non-consensual is a theme.
in no particular order, pile one is the ruttish goat: blindfold, bondage, toys, surprise sex(kitchen table anyone?) is perfectly balanced with pile two: the need to be held, kissed, fingered, fingered, stroked, and tongued or licked. Affirmation. i like to be handled. same pile. pick me up, hold my wrists together above my head, grab my hips, move me into your zone, let me respond. it is what i do best. a true submissive. spank or prime my pussy.
oral sex with toys is very loving. i find that a vast majority of women need a level of emotional trust with a partner before they actually have a clitoral orgasm, so the idea of a stranger making me cum like a rocket because of his oral dexterity is simply a myth. although the power of the encounter, the need to please or submit, mylover's pleasure factor and my own orgiastic thoughts are powerful tools.
pile three: any music. not necessarily mood music. light please, no darkness, ever. physical comfort. I do not care how ridiculous i look. I have mobility issues. i will never ride horse or motorcycle again and spread is something one puts on bread.... it is a sore loss (pun intended) to have to choose how i wish to spend my physical energy, and tally the consequences for each act. However, pillows and experimentation and a good handler for a lover, is worth the few extra minutes.
the last thing is the lovestyle. i am comfortable spiritually and mentally with many things that are usually taboo although not well practiced or a devotee. mostly curious and experimental.. i am a masochist to some degree, submissive. i delight in serving. i love giving oral, anytime, anyplace. please be trimmed, i am. i do not mind being forced if it adds to your texture. i would rather vaginally orgasm if you can hold back than to be stuck in a painful position attaining a clitoral orgasm. places: any. nothing wrong with a great hotell room, R&R on someone else's sheets. Outside! yes. inside! yes. beds are for sleeping in. unless of course they are a 4-poster. dangit, you got all my attention on that one.
my thought last night after our series; what am i thiking i am ready for?
touch me, tell me, steer me out the door into your arms. don't waste a minute, take me. we will sort out the candlelight and lingerie issues another time.
it is also good i sleep on my back.
To: EA
subject: and a wigglin' walk, and a gigglin' talk..
RB: I have read and re read your last email a number of times.
The one thing I have discovered and am only beginning to appreciate is the vastness of the sexual landscape. I have the spent the majority of my time puttering around in familiar neighborhoods, married to someone for most of my adult life. I have been faithful to those marriages. As I’ve met new people I have been introduced to different attitudes and practices.
"You must excuse my friend, he is a barbarian who believes that the norms of his society are some sort of universal laws to be followed everywhere". I have discovered that I’m not in Kansas anymore. I don’t much miss Kansas.
So, I must admit that I find the submissive concept intriguing. I’ve never had any kind of involvement with it. Couple that with a masochistic streak and role playing with non-consensual overtones and there is a lot of energy in the room. I worry about abusing the privilege while enjoying the activity.
I have always thought of sex in terms of pleasure. The old “If it feels good, do it”, philosophy. Now I found myself realizing that, that pleasure might not be the only goal - that other factors might come into play. That maybe I need to think more in the terms of enjoyment. Something doesn’t necessarily need to be pleasurable to be enjoyable.
This is where the accounting side of my brain kicks in - the idea that things can be quantified measured and compared. When viewing sex from a pleasurable viewpoint, the orgasm becomes the benchmark - always elusive and difficult to confirm. Lie to us, we’ll believe you. I’ve recently come to believe that I was reasonable capable of success when the grading was done on the pleasurable scale. But again – lie to us, we’ll believe you. Now, the game appears to be ready to change.
It’s kinda like the movie “Caddie Shack” Chevy Chase, who didn’t believe in keeping score, was asked how he measured himself against other golfers. He replied “By height”.
to RB
subject: La Vien Rose
ea: ahhm here with a hefeweizen, and thinking that indeed, the energy in a room when a man and woman are totally engaged in intimacy, using their sensuality, is a win-win; give all and receive alll.
the implication of naked trust is so unused in most bedrooms.
our married sex was the product of the silences and dissatisfactions or bitter resentments.
the bedroom was the place where unfiled grievances were kept. this is true of most marriages.
so the breakdown in the family coupled with the Woodstock generation produced a whole new lack of taboo that is as ancient and unchristian as druidic rites and temple whores.
we just worshp at a different altar than they did.
it is only normal for that to drift into mainstream culture, freeing some of us and paralyzing some of us. i wish i was younger tighter prettier better rounded and more innocent,.
i am a midwife of ideas and women's sexuality. i had 211 responses to the stranger sex and oral violence article/poll i did. i am one of the lucky ones.
whatever we discover together will probably go well with your restored '66 and your leather..
i know i come away with feeling more whole, more of me, because i had a chance and took it. a chance to play, a chance to liquidate the past again with its false grading and put downs..
i have the compassion to allow your dominance to be expressed through my service in many ways..
i also have the scary good feeling of being in control of my womanhood. Meeting a man for the first time is not easy for me. i am basically timid by nurture..