christians, fire and lions ~

What? you mean i am not a "praying mantis?"

“When I expressed interest, she declined because she felt she had said too much. There is a line that people don't want or shouldn't cross. The phenomenon of transference is something psychiatrists are schooled on but sometimes are guilty of abusing. I would warn you that telling me too much can cause you to develop feelings about me that you might not have if you and I were to meet for coffee and a stroll. When you share of your soul, the sharing soul attempts to bind with the other. The risk is that the quality or integrity of the other soul could be manipulative or dishonest. As humans, we can't avoid that need to bind, so we take risks. I understand your need, but I also want to make sure you are conscious of what you are doing.”

a cautionary tale of a year of journaling.

i love the feel of a new page. I love having something real to say. I love the tang of a rope and the caress of lips.

i hate the weary travail of pages trodden down

by fear anger disarray.

I hate that i have panic attacks over that mane of a man. he feels like my husband. not a transference, but a true husbandry, negatives and all.

and the twohawks wants me to firewalk on the second of May at the farm. would that i had the focus..

i was dumped this week becaue i have a downer attitude.

oooooooooooookay. yup. me.

no lover has touched my face but one. ahhhnok. please god give me hope or an obit.

panic attacks. i am home today and jsut got through having one that lasted a goodly twohours. it wears me out. i know it won't last forever, but the awful pressure in my chest and the tears jsut take me by storm. over whatever, money, love, kids. it ruins my day..

vaguely vaginic
completely ignoring my broken back for right now. and the illegal and adoramus use ofthe word "evocative"
my last lover who is at hiatus right now**shrugs** often blindfolded me in the beginning. so i would use my senses. last week, when i walked into his house i literally had to bury my nose in the hollow of his neck. and then again i had to nip him good under the chin, since he is a Leo..Venus in Taurus i think.
yeah, so much more. smell is very powerful. it is the shadow sense. the basest of pherome flummery